It's A Good Thing

I'm super-proud of our Ontario government today. We're doing what the Federal government couldn't get their tails in gear 2 years ago to do. It's nice when we help people. Government can do good things, and not just because it's a vote-getter. We need the right people in the right place at the right time, but when it happens, it's magic.

The West Wing crew put together another really good episode on Sunday night. Still too dark, but hey. Good writing. Is it possible that John Wells is reading my blog? Hmmmm...hee!

Exceptions to the Rule

General Rule: Tuesdays blow goats.

Today, however, is an exception.

A) BILL is in town today!!!! !!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I can hardly contain myself. Seriously. It's borderline embarassing. I'm trying to resist the urge to stalk him.

B) I'm going to see Les Miserables tonight with Mumsie. I love the theatre more than my luggage, and thus I am v. fired up.

C) Aaron Sorkin is shopping around a new show. It's not political, and I think it'll be more like Sports Night, but that was a damn good show, and so I'm on board, sight-unseen.

In Which I Am Proven *Slightly* Wrong

The West Wing was frickin awesome tonight. I am practically speechless.

Except to say not so much on the speechless! hee! that the lighting on the show needs some work. If they think that making it darker gives it more gravitas, they're wrong. Government building are lit with bright flourescent lighting. Even at night.

Chicken Lasagne

That's what I'm making for dinner tonight. Neat, eh? I'm hoping it'll feed us tonight, tomorrow and possibly Wednesday.

My last word on muscle relaxants:
I will never* take one again unless I have a full 24 hours for which to recover. The hangover was worse than with booze.

*and by "never", I mean "until the next time I feel a muscular twinge".

OH! I caught a repeat of Commander-in-Chief last night. I can tell that I'm going to a) bring Kyle Secor into my harem of boyfriends (I've loved him since Homicide: Life on the Street, for real!) and b) hate the daughter. She's a full-on snot. If I ever met a perosn like that in real life, I'd say, "helloo! your mother is PRESIDENT! That means you do what you're told for a while. She's BUSY!".

West Wing is on tonight. I wonder what kind of new hell this week will bring? *sigh* If the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different outcome, then, my friends, I am batshit crazy. Every week I expect a glimmer of Sorkin's West Wing, but am sadly disappointed each time.

Last night, I phoned Mark Darcy. We had a nice conversation. He asked me if I was going to post all the silly things that he's done that I tell people about, and that then make people think I'm insane for ever talking to him. Personally, I find the stories to be funny and almost heartwarming, mostly because I know Mark Darcy has a good heart and whatever bad stuff he does is either a) out of humour or b) out of good intentions that somehow go awry. You can see the parallels to Bridget Jones' Mark Darcy now, I'm sure. Just keep that in mind if I ever do post about those things, and know that it all works out in the end*.

*I don't know if it all works out in the end or not. I just said that because it makes people feel better.

Muscle Relaxants are F. U. N.

I woke up yesterday morning with what felt like a back spasm coming on. But it never fully developed, just ached in a tiresome manner all day. After the Sick Kid and I got home and watched Because of Winn-Dixie* I decided to take a muscle relaxant, seeing has how I was in a decent amount of uncomfortability. This was at 5pm. My friend Cam phoned at 8, and the only reason I know this is because I checked my call display earlier today. I don't remember speaking to him, or if I did. The Kid did a great job of closing up the house while Mommy slept off her drugs** and went to sleep himself. I woke up around 3am, thinking it was almost morning. And my aches had returned so I did the smart and necessary thing and took a second pill. I didn't wake up til 11 this morning. So I got 18 hours of sleep last night and I find that impressive.

I'm still feeling a little wonky and the aches have returned. Boo to the Hiss.

*don't judge me. it has Dave Matthews in it, and how bad can a movie with Dave Matthews in it be. I'm sure you're wondering why he's not my boyfriend. I saw him in concert a few years ago, and later that night, his wife had twin girls. He needs to be a good husband and not cheat on his wife who has twin girls to deal with. Plus, the Kid was sick, so it had to be done.

**what's that knock at my door? Must be CAS.

In Other News...

This bird flu thing is freaking me out a bit. This is how things like the HIV epidemic get started. In 1980-something, some monkey in Africa had it, and now it's killing millions every year. I can see how the bird flu thing will affect us such that we'll all be wearing mouth condoms so as not to accidentally spittle on one another.

StarFlix, my online video rental company, doesn't have The Way We Were. WTF. I might just have to go and pay my late fees at Bruce's store (Movies 4 U on Yonge St. Maybe a plug will wash away my late fee ills?) so that I can rent this movie. I've never seen it before, and that situation needs rectifying posthaste. More about StarFlix: I've had Apocalypse Now Redux on top of my dvd player for weeks, but Mark Darcy isn't getting the hint that I want him to be my movie buddy for this one. I'm a bit scared of it.

Speaking of movies, there's like a zillion that I want to see that are On Demand, and I try to keep myself from ordering them up (The Upside of Anger among others) because they're on the Mark Darcy-Movie-Night list. And he gave me pretend hell for watching In Good Company without him such that I felt guilty for a week afterward and still feel a twinge of the guilt whenever I see Topher Grace. *sigh*. If he re-negs on going with me to see Derailed, I'm going to order all the movies that are on the Mark Darcy list and watch them all in one night***.

***which will likely just make him laugh and say, "I've seen all those movies before, but was indulging you, silly girl!".

I don't want to cook tonight. Lalalalalala. I think that's about it.

In Which I Emerge From The Pit of Hell & Jacques Freaks Out.

I am slowly emerging from an afternoon that was clearly sent by Lucifer himself. A little history, if you please:

I was up early this morning. I don't mind so much, and in fact, I'm thinking this might become a regular Monday-Thursday occurence for me. The Kid wants to be at the daycare at 7:30 Monday through Thursday, so I think I'll oblige and spend the first hour of the day at work in relative solitude. Aaaannnnyyyway...moving right along.

At lunch, we had Swiss Chalet and said dirty words. We also had a nice litttle West Wing debate. This guy I work with calls it "Chalet Barbeque". When he first said it, I had no idea what in god's name he was speaking of. I like the way he says it. Makes me happy. I was feeling confident and happy and ready for a stellar afternoon. Then, I watched Question Period.

The opposition in Ontario is so ridiculously smug. If they were in Bridget Jones, they'd collectively be Rebecca, with a dash of Magda's screaming baby thrown in, and Bridget would call them Smug Babies. I can't believe that Bob Runciman had the nerve to get up and ask the Premier what his standards were for his government. This from the man who had to resign due to being under investigation himself, not just some name on a search warrant. Revisionist history is a wonderful thing, Bobaloo. I can't believe that Elizabeth Witmer had the chutzpah to say, "I've been a member of cabinet that have had several members resign due to investigations" (or something like that. I'm paraphrasing. Sue me.). I mean, is that supposed to CONVINCE someone of something?! I have a renewed respect for Legislative Assistants in that they haven't thrown the TVs out the window in rage on a daily basis.

The question of the day: Who leaked the warrant? Much as I don't agree with the Leader of the Opposition, I also don't believe he's an idiot, so I'm not sure why he keeps saying that he knew about the warrant at such-and-such a time when the Premier has gone on record saying he didn't know about it after. Are the people who wrote a letter to Matthew Coon-Come on the leader's behalf the same people who are giving him his talking points on this issue? Hm. VRWC, I tell you. VRWC.

Sean Conway is my new secret boyfriend. He was on 4th Reading tonight and kicked bum (particularly that belonging to Janet Ecker. Hee!). He was the first person I've heard bring up the term "leak" in this whole thing and now I love him with the love of 1000 blazing suns. I loved him with the love of 100 blazing suns before (mostly because he made me fall in love with politics all over again earlier in the summer with his political theory talk - which is on the same level as whispering sweet nothings in one's ear in my book - mixed with a nice, grey goose vodka martini-dry wit), but that love has increased tenfold. I'm jealous of his students. I am also mildly crushing on Steve Paikin for following Sean's lead on TV.

K. Jacques (a pseudonym for a friend) lost his shit today. It was somewhat entertaining. I was much more excited about posting this earlier in the evening and boring you with the details, but now that my tummy is full of chicken fried rice, I'm uncertain. Anyhoo. The wonderful woman I work with said I was a wonk today, and then made me laugh by saying "oh for god's sake" in her wonderfully unique way. High compliments.

People, I missed Commander-in-Chief on Tuesday night. Dammit.

Does turkey do weird stuff to people?

I'm going to say something about the thing at the Pink Palace in a minute, but first things first.

Pierre Pettigrew has returned! He appeared next to Dear Leader yesterday, bearing gifts of $20M for QuakeAid, and $1M more for the Red Cross/Red Crescent. Also, my boyfriend Bill Graham (i know, you're all thinking, wtf. wrong bill! alas, i love this bill too. even with the surprised look on his face.) has come through with the Disaster Assistance Relief Team, so that's nice. He's everyone's knight in shining armour.

Bill to the rescue!

Here's my theory: Pierre Pettigrew was out of town, likely in his Paris flat, when the Quake happened. Dear Leader thought, 'hey, we should actually say something soonish on this, so I'll peddle Dan McTeague til the hairdo returns. And since the Parliamentary Secretary is...well, a Parliamentary Secretary, he couldn't authorize anymore than $300,000, which clearly isn't enough, but is certainly something, and since we've always* done it this way before, it'll be good til the 'grew returns from vacay'. That's pure speculation, of course.

*by "always", I mean "since the Tsunami".

The Other Thing

This all smells like a VRCW (Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy) to me. This whole thing made me want KD, bacon and cheese casserole tonight. The Kid was pleased, but I'm zonked enough to not care that it's not on my diet.

Who's My Daddy?

Your Daddy Is Pedro Martinez

What You Call Him: Papito Why You Love Him: He's your sugar daddy

Who's" Your Daddy?

I didn't have to answer any questions for the site to reach this conclusion, so I'm not sure how accurate it is. My dad did love him some baseball, though, so...

West Wing angst

I never thought that I'd admit it, but there it is. I have West Wing angst.

John Wells, let's be honest with each other. The show has gone *gasp* downhill since Sorkin got arrested for possessing some shroomies and bailed. You and Tommy Schlamme and your brother Llewellyn (nice handle. he should shorten it to Llew. or just Lew) just don't have the chops or the humour. So let me give you some pointers on where you can improve.

1. The Campaign: Josh isn't funny anymore. And getting rid of Donna was a bad plan. Half the reason most of the people I know hung on after Rob Lowe bailed was the hope of a Josh/Donna liaison. You had the perfect opportunity and blew it. Jimmy Smits, while hot, needs some depth of character and USE Janeane Garofalo! Let her write! She's hysterical! And smart! I mean, have you seen "The Truth About Cats and Dogs"!?! And you've got HAWKEYE! You need to bring the funny and the wit, John. These people are all proven adept at handling Sorkin's (or Sorkin-like) wit, so get on it. Also? The Campaign episodes are boring. Political strategy is more interesting to West Wing viewers than issues aurrounding media and communications. Spin doesn't play well on TV. Strategy is better. Remember the "Manchester" episodes back in Season 3? Strategy. Terrific. Don't re-invent the wheel.

2. Back at the White House: Again, the funny, but we've had that discussion already and I won't go back into it (but seriously - Toby and CJ were way better when they were wittier). Getting rid of Leo as COS was, I think, the dumbest thing you all have done since letting Rob Lowe go. CJ needed to grow, yes, but CoS? No. Toby would've been better, and then you make CJ the communications director. Then you could've had sparks fly with Toby and Bartlet...you know what I mean. Mary McCormack is lovely and young and would be an interesting deputy NSA in real life, but seriously? I want Nancy back. She was better, and more edgy. This shit about an Armageddon-type spaceship that no one knows about is insane. Surely you could've found a way to work in something a little less pedestrian than a Bruce Willis/Ben Affleck movie? Where did Bartlet go? What happened to Danny Concannon (yes, I saw the season premiere with CJ and Danny, but they'll need to get cracking if they want to have a baby in 3 years...bring him back!)? Where's Charlie? What about Abby? What happened to the "we have 356 days left. Now let's DO something". Instead, we get stuck with an ineffective White House and a silly campaign.

John, you have a show that works when all the pieces come together. I will continue to watch every week, but I need you to do something for me, too: put in a little bit of an effort. I feel like you're leaving us loyal viewers hanging. If you do, I promise I'll buy seasons 5-infinity on DVD (I already have 1-4).

WTF?!

There is something seriously wrong with the world today. Let me tell you a little story:

This morning, I woke up, had some breakfast, counted my calories and turned on my computer to do some work. I thought I'd pop by my new, shiny blog just to see if anyone loves me (i.e. left comments) and there they are! 2 comments on my Bridget Jones posting. Excitedly, I clicked on "view comments" or whatever you click on, and it was SPAM COMMENTS! What. The. Fuck. is that all about?

Have blogs just become another form of advertising? Can we not escape ads for penis enlargement, viagra, teenage trans-gendered sex and other assorted (men-targeted...hm...) tripe? What is it about my blog in particular that makes the spammer think that I'd be interested in roulette? I'm hoping this is some guy in his basement playing russian roulette with his spammer friends. Assholes. I hate them.

One other thing I'm sad about this morning - 30,000 people at least have died in that crazy earthquake in Pakistan. There's no way that if there was a 7.6 earthquake in California or British Columbia, 30,000 people would be dead. More commentary on foreign policy to come in the future, but today, it's for real - people who had next to nothing on Friday have less than nothing this morning. Last I heard Canada had offered $300,000 in help. I seriously hope that Pierre Pettigrew take his head out of his ass, comes back from Paris or wherever useless place he is right now and makes a real contribution.

Bridget Jones v. Pride and Prejudice. Coincidence? I think not.

I mean, let's look at the details.

Bridget doesn't have great body image. Neither did Lizzie.
Bridget has a messy mother. So does Lizzie.
Bridget has a father who is largely unavailable, but helpful in the rough times. So does Lizzie.
Bridget fell in love with a snotty, yet sweet-underneath-it-all-after-having-a-big-fight Mark Darcy. Lizzie fell in love with snotty, yet sweet-underneath-it-all-after-having-a-big-fight Mr. Darcy (did he have a first name? can you imagine calling your SO "Mr" all your life? Hee!).
Uncle Geoffrey = Mr. Collins
Bridget had to go through that cad Daniel Cleaver first, who had a connection with Mark Darcy (and not a great one, may I add). Lizzie had to go through that cad Mr. Wickham first, who had a connection with Mr. Darcy (and not a great one).
There were lots of tortuous family social occasions in both BJ and P&P.

I think Helen Fielding is a bit of a rip-off artist. But I love her anyway and wish I could get her re-vitalized Bridget Jones column for free. I am Bridget and she is Me.

I'm beginning my blog by teefing. Lovely.

a bunch of stupid questions with stupid answers

What color is most reflective of you?
Green. Somewhere in between sunny yellow and blue....blue.

How did you get the idea for your journal/blog name?
I looked up English colloquialisms because I couldn't remember any of the literally thousands of expressions I use. I'm a dork.

What time were you born?
10:37 PM

What song are you playing now (or wish you were playing)?
"Fix You" - Coldplay. Someone told me it's a nice song, but I'm not so sure. It needs more listening.

Has the death of a celebrity ever made you cry?
Princess Diana. Don't judge me.
A celebrity almost-death made me cry - Bill Clinton.

What color underwear (or underoos, as I prefer) are you wearing?
Pink

Do you want a baby?
My baby is almost 10, and there's no way in hell I'm ever going through raising a child again.

What does your dad do for a living?
He was an account manager for a box company, but now he's dead. So, yeah.

What does your mom do for a living?
She's a self-employed consultant of many sorts. Lobbying, planning, that sort of thing.

What is your pet’s name?
Don't have one.

What color are your bedsheets?
Blue, green, orange and yellow. VERY colourful.

What are the last 3 digits of your phone number?
943...9+4+3=16...16/2=8. My number! Fate, I tell you.

What was the last concert you attended?
Professional - Matchbox 20
Friend - My friend Steve playing in a big band on the street.

Who was with you?
Heather came with me to Matchbox 20. Rather, I went with her (cause she bought the tickets).

What was the last movie you saw?
The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou. Interesting. Wacky. Everything you've come to expect from Wes Anderson.

Who do you dislike most at this moment?
I'll always harbour a hate for Little Mary.

Did you dream last night?
Last night was so long ago now...I don't remember. But I often have vivid dreams. Just ask Mark.

What was the last TV show you watched?
That 70's Show. I love Topher Grace with the love of 1000 blazing suns.

What is your fave piece of jewelery?
My necklace with my parents wedding rings.

What is to the left of you?
A lamp and my shopping cart. So. Lame. I should really put that cart away.

What is the last thing you ate?
A non-fat chocolate popsicle.

Write a song lyric that’s in your head:
Last Christmas, I have you my heart, and the very next day, you gave it away...
Sweet Jesus. I'm even judging myself.

Who last IMed you?
Dave. His MSN display picture is hot and I already told him so.

Where is your significant other right now?
Who?

Do you have a crush?
Oh dear god, yes.

What shampoo do you use?
When I have $$, KMS. When not, anything that'll make it clean.

When was the last time you cut your hair?
Today, actually.

What shirt are you wearing?
Long sleeve, v-neck grey ribbed GAP sweater.

What is your favorite frozen treat?
Kawartha Dairy ANYTHING!

Are you sexy?
Sure.

What’s your favorite shopping store?
I quite like Kitchen Stuff Plus.

Can you imagine yourself ever getting married?
No. Mostly because I cannot imagine ever not being able to watch West Wing dvds all night without someone bitching at me.